Remembering Lee Kuan Yew: Tender side that not many see

Ng Kok Song, 67, is the former chief investment officer of Government of Singapore Investment Corporation
MAR 24, 2015

When my wife Patricia was diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer in July 2003, I saw a side of Mr Lee Kuan Yew that not many see.

Two weeks after the diagnosis, Patricia told me she was going to write a letter to Mr Lee, who was then Senior Minister. It had nothing to do with my job, she said, but my job was to deliver it. This is what she wrote:

“Dear SM Lee,

When National Day approaches each year, I feel fortunate and blessed to live in Singapore. And I’ve always wanted to express my deep gratitude to you, but lacked the courage to do so. Now I feel a sense of urgency as this may be my last National Day, as I have recently been diagnosed with advanced stomach cancer.

On this auspicious occasion of the 38th birthday of Singapore, I thank God that we have been blessed with a leader who has a gifted vision, and the courage, will and ability to make his dream a reality. I have the deepest respect and admiration for you and regard you as truly the Father of our Nation.

My husband Kok Song and I raised three children in our 31 years of married life, and we are all proud to be Singaporeans. Happy National Day.

Yours respectfully,

Patricia.”

Four days later, Mr Lee replied, thanked her for her letter and said:

“I am grateful and deeply moved that you wrote this letter at a time when you are burdened with the thought of leaving your loved ones behind. I have heard from my son Hsien Loong that Kok Song’s wife had been diagnosed with stomach cancer. Three children, two grown up, and one still a minor. I am sad at this cruel act of fate.

“I understand how you and your family must feel. My family experienced it when we were told that Hsien Loong himself was diagnosed with cancer of the lymphatic glands. It was a traumatic blow. It is so unfair. One small consolation is that modern medicine can make your suffering less unbearable. My wife and I send you and your family our sympathy, understanding and support. Kok Song will need them most of all.

I have no words to describe our sadness, or to comfort him, your family, your daughters and you.”

He wrote once more to Patricia, saying: “Many things in life can make or unmake a person. But the single most important factor is that someone who shares your life with you. In that respect, my wife and I have been very fortunate. We are happy for you, Patricia, that you have a soulmate in your husband Kok Song. It is a relationship that evolves with time and circumstance, and grows with age.”

I am sharing this exchange of letters because I think the way Patricia felt is probably how my generation, and maybe the older generation, felt about Mr Lee.

We are proud to be Singaporeans because of what he did for Singapore. He gave us hope when the future was bleak. When we separated from Malaysia, he inspired us to believe in ourselves, to defy the odds to prosper economically as an independent country.

But another thing that came out from those letters is that while Mr Lee can come across as a stern person, you can feel from the way he responded to Patricia’s letter that he is a man with a tender heart.

Soon after, Mrs Lee had a stroke and was bedridden. Patricia lived on for another 19 months.

During that time, he always asked about Patricia, telling me to tell her: “Don’t give up. Soldier on.”

Once he said to me: “Now we are in the same boat. You are looking after your wife and I am looking after my wife.”

I had begun meditating with him. One evening in 2011, after our session, I asked him about rumours swirling that he was very ill, when he was actually perfectly all right.

“Don’t you think the Government should put out a statement to rebut the rumours that you are seriously ill in hospital?” I asked.

He looked at me and said: “No, no, Kok Song, there’s no point. Because one day it is going to happen.”

Then he added: “I have lived such a long life. I hope that I can live on for maybe another five to seven years. By then, the Marina Bay developments would be completed, the water barrage would be operating, the whole Tanjong Rhu area and the reservoir will be finished. And our entire landscape will be changed. The city is going to be so beautiful.”

He was always looking forward to Singapore’s future progress.

It was as though he had captured all this in his imagination, and just hoped he would be able to see it before he passed on.

Quote of the Week

“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book, or you take a trip, and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating.

The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death) the absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions like like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children.

And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death.

Some never awaken.”

~ Anais Nin

Better to be attractive or not?

Originally Posted by Rouge

I was ugly when I was a kid. My family struggled financially, so I was skinny as a beanpole and had thick glasses, bad hair and hand-me-downs that didn’t fit. I had no confidence, few friends and considered myself a social retard. Up till now, I’m still scarred by how the other kids teased me.

When I was 18 or 19, I blossomed. I started wearing contact lenses, light make-up, flattering clothes, heels. Suddenly, people started being nicer to me.

But life as an “attractive person” is not always a bed of roses:

– People may have a more positive impression of you in the beginning. But since they have higher expectations of you, they also become more critical of you if you fail any of these expectations. You’re twice as likely to be considered “stupid”, “superficial” or “arrogant” than someone they had a poorer initial impression of.

– I probably got hired in a couple of jobs thanks to looks, but I later paid the price for it when the (male) bosses tried to hit on me. Some male clients also tried to get cheeky with me. I couldn’t afford to offend these people and had to manage my relationships with them. All these created additional stress at work.

– I have the opposite problem with female bosses. They didn’t want to hire me. That’s the rule for working for a good looking woman- you can’t be more good looking than her. The office is her kingdom, she will not want any competition for male attention.

– Some female colleagues took convenient swipes at me for being a bimbo when they caught me making mistakes. Since this stereotype fitted, they got away with it a couple of times, especially with people in other departments who had not worked with me.

– Some women hate me. They hate me without allowing themselves to get to know me. Enough said.

– I’ve also had to manage my relationship with female friends very carefully. Gal pals are great for a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. But a few of them turned into absolute monsters when I dated a highly eligible guy. One tried to sow doubts into me by convincing me that the guy couldn’t be serious about me. Two tried to accidentally run into me to get an introduction to him when we were out on a date. I can’t tell you how how disappointed and hurt I felt. Despite the good times and bad times we’ve been through, they’d sell me out for a guy at the end of the day. These days, if I were to date anyone “hot”, I’d downplay how attractive/well off he is. I don’t have the stomach to subject all my friendships to such tests.

– My platonic friendships are often problematic. Maybe the guys didn’t befriend me because they were attracted to me. But some of them couldn’t maintain a friendship with me when they started liking me and I didn’t feel the same way back. The successful platonic friendships I’ve had are mostly with much older men who are happily married and totally crazy over their wives.

– I’ve received pressure from some of my boyfriends on maintaining my looks. One even messaged me to find out whether I’ve been going to the gym when he was away on a business trip. I’m sure they liked me for qualities other than my looks. But they were sold on an image of me and couldn’t accept it if this were to change.

After being on both sides of the fence, I can’t say whether it’s better to be attractive or not. Each side has its disadvantages. Maybe being average is best. You might not believe it, but you’re more likely to have more friends and better relationships this way than if you were to be more good looking.

The Master

“The master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his labor and his leisure,
his mind and his body, his work and his play, his education and his recreation.
He hardly knows which.
He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing and leaves others to determine whether his is working or playing.
To himself, he is always doing both.”

~ James A. Michener

Ralph Waldo Emerson – Compensation

From Essays: First Series (1841)

The wings of Time are black and white,
Pied with morning and with night.
Mountain tall and ocean deep
Trembling balance duly keep.
In changing moon, in tidal wave,
Glows the feud of Want and Have.
Gauge of more and less through space
Electric star and pencil plays.
The lonely Earth amid the balls
That hurry through the eternal halls,
A makeweight flying to the void,
Supplemental asteroid,
Or compensatory spark,
Shoots across the neutral Dark.

Man’s the elm, and Wealth the vine;
Stanch and strong the tendrils twine:
Though the frail ringlets thee deceive,
None from its stock that vine can reave.
Fear not, then, thou child infirm,
There’s no god dare wrong a worm.
Laurel crowns cleave to deserts,
And power to him who power exerts;
Hast not thy share? On winged feet,
Lo! it rushes thee to meet;
And all that Nature made thy own,
Floating in air or pent in stone,
Will rive the hills and swim the sea,
And, like thy shadow, follow thee.

Best Business Bank Account for Startups and Entrepreneurs

1. Maybank FlexiBiz Account

Minimum Initial Deposit $1,000
Annual Account Service Fee $0
Monthly Fall Below Fee $0
Annual Cost = $0 + ($0 x 12) = $0
FAST Funds Transfer Fee = 20 cents per transfer
http://info.maybank2u.com.sg/business/deposits-banking/current/flexibiz.aspx

What is the catch? You need to pay 50 cents for each issued cheque.

2. UOB E-Business Account

Minimum Initial Deposit = $1,000
Annual Account Service Fee = $0
Monthly Fall Below Fee = $15 (if below $5,000)
Annual Cost = $0 + (15 x 12) = $180
FAST Funds Transfer Fee = $5 per transfer
http://www.uob.com.sg/corporate/corporate/deposits/eBusiness_account.html
http://www.uob.com.sg/online_rates/corporate/general_service_fees_part1.html?s_pid=HOME201205_eg_quicklnk_ql4

What is the catch? You need to pay $20 if depositing or withdrawing money over the counter. FAST fee of $5.

3. DBS Entrepreneurs Account

Minimum Initial Deposit = $500
Annual Account Service Fee = $40
Monthly Fall Below Fee = $35 (if below $10,000)
Annual Cost = $40 + ($35 x 12) = $460
FAST Funds Transfer Fee = $5 per transfer
http://www.dbs.com.sg/sme/day-to-day/accounts/entrepreneurs-account-for-start-ups.page
https://www.dbs.com.sg/iwov-resources/forms/cash/payments/Pricing%20Guide%20(all%20product%20details%20pages).pdf

Waiver of Monthly Fall Below Fee for the first 6 months.

What is the catch? Expensive monthly fall below fee kicking in after 6 months. FAST fee of $5.

4. OCBC Business First Account

Minimum Initial Deposit = $3,000
Monthly Account Service Fee = $38
Monthly Fall Below Fee = $35 (if below $5,000)
Annual Cost = ($38 x 12) + ($35 x 12) = $876
FAST Funds Transfer Fee = $5 per transfer
http://www.ocbc.com/assets/pdf/BizBkgPricingGuide.pdf

Waiver of Monthly Account Service Fee and Monthly Fall Below Fee for the first 3 months.

What is the catch? Expensive monthly account service fee and fall below fee. FAST fee of $5.

An Evening with Jack Ma

Jack Ma or Ma Yun (Chinese: 马云; born September 10, 1964) is a Chinese entrepreneur and philanthropist. He is the founder and Executive Chairman of Alibaba Group, a family of highly successful Internet-based businesses.

He is the richest man in China and 18th richest man in the world with an estimated net worth of $29.7 billion, according to Bloomberg Billionaires Index.

Tiësto presents Allure feat Julie Thompson – Somewhere Inside

Who am I, love? What am I supposed to be?
One life alone. Oh, somehow it’s made for me

What do I do? What can I say?
It’s nothing new. The choice was made

But what if I lose my way?
And run right into you
Deep inside we’ll never be anything other than lonely
Tell me what does it take?
To breathe it into you
Weak inside we’ll never be anything other than lonely

One blinking star. Still feels how it used to feel
It’s all so wrong. No easy way to believe

I wanna run. I wanna hide
What I’ve become? Now you’re no longer mine
I wanna feel. Something that’s real
Somewhere inside

Quote of the Week

Who can say what’s best?

That’s why you need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much.

My experience tells me that we get no more than two or three such chances in a life time, and if we let them go, we regret it for the rest of our lives.

~ Haruki Murakami

Quote of the Week

“On some positions, Cowardice asks the question, “Is it safe?” Expediency asks the question, “Is it politic?” And Vanity comes along and asks the question, “Is it popular?” But Conscience asks the question “Is it right?” And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must do it because Conscience tells him it is right.”

~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Taylor Swift – Blank Space

“Blank Space” is a song recorded by American singer-songwriter Taylor Swift for her fifth studio album, 1989 (2014). It was written by Swift, Max Martin and Shellback. The song was released to contemporary hit radio by Republic Records on November 10, 2014 as the album’s second single, after “Shake It Off” and is the second track on the album. Musically, “Blank Space” is an electropop and minimal song with lyrics that satirize the media’s perception of Swift and her relationships.

“Blank Space” was a critical and commercial success, reaching No. 1 on the US Billboard Hot 100, Australia, Canada and Europe.